“I didn’t marry my wife for looks, and you shouldn’t either. In a few years, if her boobs start to sag too much, there’s a place you can go to and they’ll lift ‘em right back up to where they were. And you can point the nipple in any direction. Hell, you can go to a titty bar, pick out a set of titties and say “I want those titties, on that woman right there.” If she gets too fat and she don’t wanna work it off, you can get a tummy tuck. They’ll give you a belly that looks like a cheerleader. If your eyesight starts to go bad, you can get Lasik surgery, and they can give you 20/20 vision at any age. If your hearing starts to fail, they’ll put a little device in your ear that makes you hear as good as when you were born. But let me tell you something folks… you can’t fix stupid.” - Ron White

Filed in Daily on Saturday, August 23, 2008 ·